The other day I was speaking with another baseball mom whose teenage son did not “want” to come to his little brothers baseball games even though his presence would mean the world to the young boy.  This bothered me for a while that day because when I asked her why, the response I got is one I hear all too often, “Oh he’s just a teenager”.  Have you ever used the words, “well she’s only 2,  he’s a teenager, or she’s 6” as an excuse for an unwanted behavior in your child?  Have you ever asked yourself why you said that?  Or wondered if maybe there’s another explanation as to why your child did what they did?  Some people use this as an excuse for years!  Just change the number!  I know I have, on numerous occasions, I have tried to explain away behavior by using any excuse that may be suitable at the moment, and I know others have as well, because I’ve heard it all too often.  I am one who asks a lot of questions, as a matter of fact I probably put many on edge because of my curious mind, but I don’t ask just to ask, I am seeking true answers.  So what is the answer to the question “why is my child acting this way, and what can I do to change it?” or  “How can I get away from making excuses for them, and get real answers?”  Excellent questions, and I just might have some answers.

When I picture our household with teenagers, I don’t see the “normal” view of the disrespectful son/daughter, the slam my door stay in my room situation,  all I want to do is hang out with my friends, or the argumentative time.  I picture my 3 kids all wanting to be together as a family, supporting each other in whatever they do, and prefer spending time with our family than  friends.  So I know some of you reading this (if anyone is, that is), are snickering at the thought that this could “actually” happen.  I mean this doesn’t even happen on TV!  But, aha my friends… I have found a family who has this as their family life.  And they happen to share “how” in the book “Shepherding a Child’s  Heart.”

Tedd Tripp states “our culture has lost it’s way with respect to parenting”.  And I agree because I see it.  We try to learn so much about correcting behavior, but where does that behavior come from?  The answer… our child’s heart is where we need to set things straight, not the behavior.  The behavior is just the “effect” of the “cause”, the hearts true feelings.   Just like our excuses are an “effect” of the “cause” behavior.   Tedd does a wonderful job in explaining our job as parents to help shape influences with our children and the responses they should have to those influences.  He says we need to work backwards, from the behavior to the heart and he uses God’s word to explain everything we need to know to have obedient children with willing hearts.  When children are obedient to us as parents, they will be in good graces with God, and obedient to him as well.  It also puts a lot on us as parents to be the example of obedience to God, by praying, reading and applying His word.

This book has been a real blessing to me, and my understanding of what God truly wants from me as a parent.  I have seen a tremendous difference in my kids throughout this process of learning obedience, even though it continues to be a daily struggle (I am still learning obedience as well).  They show more love to me now then they ever have, and I know God is blessing my efforts and using me as an example to others.

Let me know your thoughts!